*💖Love, Respect, and Understanding: The Pillars of a Strong Marriage💖*
Marriage is considered an 'ibaadah, an act that is pleasing to Allah Ta’aala. It is in accordance with His commandments that husbands and wives love each other and help one another to rear their children as true servants of Allah Ta’aala.
Most spouses start out with hopes and rosy dreams; truly committed to making their marriage work. However, as the reality of living with a less than perfect spouse lurks in, and as the pressures of life builds, many individuals do not find as much satisfaction in their relationships. All marriages change over time. However, with hard work and dedication, people can keep their marriages strong and enjoyable. How is it done?
What does it take to create a long-lasting, satisfying marriage?
Researches indicate that the most successful marriages share some key characteristics.
These are some of the characteristics that researchers have found to be common in successful marriages.Let's look at each of these factors.
*CHARACTERISTICS OF HAPPY AND SATISFYING MARRIAGES*
*1⃣ POSITIVITY*
Successful spouses have far more positive than negative interactions. If there is too much negativity — criticizing, demanding, name-calling, holding grudges, etc. — the relationship will suffer. However, if there is never any negativity, it probably means that frustrations and grievances are not getting air time and unresolved tension is accumulating inside one or both partners.
The key is balance between the two extremes. There are many ways to foster positivity in a marriage. Being affectionate, truly listening to each other, taking joy in each other's
achievements and being playful are just a few examples of positive interactions that help make marriages successful.
*2⃣ EMPATHY*
Another characteristic of happy marriages is empathy. Empathy means understanding a person's perspective by putting oneself in his or her shoes. Many researchers have shown that empathy is important for relationship satisfaction.
People are more likely to feel good about their marriage and spouse if their partner expresses empathy towards them. Husbands and wives are more content in their relationships when they perceive that their spouses truly understand their thoughts and feelings.
*3⃣ COMMITMENT*
Successful marriages involve both spouses' commitment to the relationship. When two people are truly dedicated to making their marriage work, despite the unavoidable challenges and obstacles that come, they are much more likely to have a relationship that lasts.
Husbands and wives who only focus on themselves and their own desires are not as likely to find joy and satisfaction in their relationships. However, when spouses are committed to investing in their marriage and are willing to sacrifice some of their own preferences for the good of the relationship, they usually have high-quality marriages.
*4⃣ ACCEPTANCE*
One of the most basic needs in a relationship is acceptance. Everyone wants to feel valued and respected. When people feel that their spouses truly accept them for who they are, they are usually more secure and confident in their relationships.
Often, there is conflict in marriage because partners cannot accept the individual preferences of their spouses and try to demand change from one another. When one person tries to force change from another, he or she is usually met with resistance.
However, research has shown that change is much more likely to occur when spouses respect differences and accept each other unconditionally. Basic acceptance is vital to a happy marriage.
*5⃣ MUTUAL LOVE AND RESPECT*
Perhaps the most important component of successful marriages are love and respect for each other.This may seem very obvious — why would two people get married to someone whom they did not love and respect? The fact is, as time passes and life becomes increasingly complicated, the marriage often suffers as a result.
It is all too easy for spouses to lose touch with each other and neglect the love and romance that once came so easily. It is vital that husbands and wives continue to cultivate love and respect for each other throughout their lives. If they do, it is highly likely that their relationships will remain happy and satisfying.
Paramount of all, marriage must be based on the teachings of the Noble Qur'an and Sunnah of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam. InshaaAllah, married couples will not only gain blessing and harmony from their marriages but also benefits and rewards in the Hereafter.
Ameen.
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"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."(51:55)
Abu Hurayra Radiyallahu ‘anhu said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘ *What do you think would happen if there was a river by someone’s door in which he washed five times every day? Do you think that any dirt would remain on him?* ’ They said, ‘Not a scrap of dirt would remain on him.’ He said, ‘ *That is a metaphor of the five prayers by which Allah wipes out wrong actions.'* ”
Hanzalah Al Usaidi Radiyallahu ‘anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said: ‘
*The person who guards the five times Salah, its Wudu, its prescribed time, its proper Ruku’ and Sujüd, while perceiving it to be the Right of Allah on him, he is forbidden upon Fire.’*
Note: The wording is reported with some variations in the chains and texts. The meaning is supported by many authentic narrations emphasizing the importance of preserving Salah, its times, and its proper performance.
Abu Qatadah ibne-Rib’i Radiyallahu ‘anhu reported that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam narrates in a Hadith Qudsi that Allah ‘Azza wa Jall has said:’
*Verily, I have enjoined upon your Ummah five times Salah, and I have taken upon myself an oath that anyone who observes them at their appointed time, I shall admit him into Paradise; if anyone does not offer them regularly, there is no such guarantee from Me for him (I may punish him or forgive him).'*
Abu Hurairah Radiyallahu ‘anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said: ‘
*The five times Salah and the prayer of Friday to Friday, and the fasting of Ramadan to Ramadan, are atonements for sins that have been committed between them, provided the sinner avoids major sins.* ’
Abdullah ibne-’Amr Radiyallahu ‘anhuma narrates that one day, Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam mentioned Salat and said: ‘
*For him who remains mindful of his Salah, it will be a light and an argument in his favour and a means of his salvation on the Day of Judgement; and for him who is not mindful of his Salah, there shall be neither a light, nor an argument in his favour, nor a means for his salvation. And on the Day of Judgement, he will be with Fir’aun, Hamãn and Ubayy ibne-Khalaf.’*
Note: Fir’aun was the king of Egypt at the time of Musa ‘Alaihis salam, Hamãn was his minister, and Ubayy ibne-Khalaf was an ardent idolater and adversary of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam.
عَنْ أَبِي أُمَامَةَ رضي الله عنه قَالَ: قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ
Abu Umamah Radiyallahu ‘anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam was asked: O Rasulullah! At what time is Du’a the most readily listened to and accepted? He replied: ‘ *The one made during the course of latter part of the night, and after the obligatory Salah’.*
(Jami` at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3499)
Imam al-Tirmidhi رحمه الله mentioned it as Hasan (good) in his Sunan.
Ruwaibah Radiyallahu ‘anhu narrates:’ I heard Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam saying: *Undoubtedly he will not enter Hell-Fire, who has offered Salat before the rising of the sun, and before its setting; that is Fajr and ‘Asr.’*
Jundub Al Qasri Radiyallahu ‘anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said: ‘ *He who offers the Fajr Salah, is indeed in the Protection of Allah (so do not trouble those who are under Allah’s Protection); for you will be answerable to Allah for violating this protection; because undoubtedly, if He takes anyone to account for violating this protection, He will catch him and fling him headlong on his face into the Hell-Fire.’*
عَنْ أُمِّ فَرْوَةَ رضي الله عنها قَالَتْ: سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ
أَيُّ الْأَعْمَالِ أَفْضَلُ؟ قَالَ
«الصَّلَاةُ لِأَوَّلِ وَقْتِهَا»
Umme Farwah Radiyallahu ‘anhã narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam was asked: ‘ *Which is the best of the good deeds?* He said: *To offer Salat at the beginning of its prescribed time.* ’
Jabir ibne-Abdullah Radiyallahu ‘anhuma narrates: I heard Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam saying: ‘ *Between man and (his entering into) polytheism and unbelief is the abandonment of Salah.’*
(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 82)
Note: Scholars of Islam have offered several explanations to this hadith. One is that a person who abandons Salah becomes increasingly arrogant and bold in committing sins, which may endanger his faith. Another explanation is that the one who abandons Salah runs the risk of an evil end.
Abdullah ibne-’Amr ibnil As narrates from his father, who heard from his grandfather Radiyallahu ‘anhuma, who narrated that Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam said: ‘
*Command your children when they are seven years old, to perform Salah; and beat them for not observing it when they are ten years old. And at this age separate their beds (i.e. do not let brothers and sisters sleep together)* .’
‘Uthman ibn ‘Affan said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “ *There is no Muslim man who attends a prescribed prayer and does wudu’ for it well and is humble in it and in its bowing, without that being expiation for the sins before it as long as he did not commit any major sin. This will always apply.”*
[Sahih Muslim, Hadith 228]
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"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."(51:55)
