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✧･ﾟGUIDING THE MUSLIM CHILD TO EXCELLENCE ✧･ﾟ
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Children are among the greatest blessings that Allah ﷻ grants to parents. They bring joy to the home, comfort to the heart and provide parents with an opportunity to earn tremendous reward through righteous upbringing.
Islam does not merely command parents to provide food, clothing and shelter. It teaches parents how to nurture their children spiritually, morally, emotionally and physically.
Allah ﷻ says:
وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“And those who say, ‘Our Lord! Bless us with spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.’”
Surah al-Furqan 25:74
This beautiful supplication establishes one of the greatest goals of Muslim parenting: not merely to raise successful children, but to raise righteous children who become a source of comfort and examples of goodness.
The following are some important matters connected with the birth, naming and early upbringing of a Muslim child.
1. AQEEQAH — الْعَقِيقَةُ
1.1 What is Aqeeqah?
Aqeeqah is the sacrifice offered on behalf of a newborn child. It is an established Sunnah according to the well-known position of the scholars.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
كُلُّ غُلَامٍ رَهِينَةٌ بِعَقِيقَتِهِ تُذْبَحُ عَنْهُ يَوْمَ سَابِعِهِ وَيُحْلَقُ وَيُسَمَّى
Narrated by: Samurah ibn Jundub رضي الله عنه
“Every child is held in pledge for his Aqeeqah; it is sacrificed for him on his seventh day, his head is shaved and he is named.”
Sunan Abi Dawud 2838; graded Sahih by al-Albani.
1.2 How many animals are sacrificed?
The Sunnah specifies:
◆ For a boy: two sheep
◆ For a girl: one sheep
عَنِ الْغُلَامِ شَاتَانِ مُكَافِئَتَانِ وَعَنِ الْجَارِيَةِ شَاةٌ
Umm Kurz al-Ka'biyyah رضي الله عنها narrated:
“For a boy, two sheep that are alike, and for a girl, one sheep.”
Source: Sunan Abi Dawud 2834.
Another narration states:
عَنِ الْغُلَامِ شَاتَانِ وَعَنِ الْجَارِيَةِ شَاةٌ
“Two sheep are to be sacrificed for a boy and one for a girl.”
Sunan Abi Dawud 2836.
1.3 The seventh day
The seventh day is specifically mentioned in the hadith concerning Aqeeqah, shaving the child's head and naming the child.
If the Aqeeqah cannot be performed on the seventh day, scholars have discussed performing it later. Therefore, parents who are unable to perform it on the seventh day should not despair.
1.4 The purpose of Aqeeqah
Aqeeqah is an act of worship and gratitude to Allah ﷻ. It should not be described as a magical guarantee against every form of evil. Rather, it is a prescribed act of worship connected with welcoming the child and following the Sunnah.
2. SHAVING THE NEWBORN'S HEAD
The hadith concerning Aqeeqah also mentions shaving the newborn's head.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
تُذْبَحُ عَنْهُ يَوْمَ سَابِعِهِ وَيُحْلَقُ وَيُسَمَّى
Narrator: Samurah ibn Jundub رضي الله عنه
“It is sacrificed for him on his seventh day, his head is shaved and he is named.”
Source: Sunan Abi Dawud 2838.
The practice of giving charity according to the weight of the child's hair is also reported in narrations concerning Al-Hasan رضي الله عنه.
Parents should therefore distinguish between what is established by authentic evidence and what is merely customary.
3. CIRCUMCISION — الْخِتَانُ
3.1 Male circumcision
Circumcision is included among the practices of the fitrah.
الْفِطْرَةُ خَمْسٌ: الْخِتَانُ، وَالِاسْتِحْدَادُ، وَقَصُّ الشَّارِبِ، وَتَقْلِيمُ الْأَظْفَارِ، وَنَتْفُ الْآبَاطِ
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“The fitrah is five: circumcision, removing the pubic hair, trimming the moustache, clipping the nails and removing the armpit hair.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 257a; Sahih al-Bukhari 5891.
Circumcision is therefore an established Islamic practice for males.
However, the authentic texts do not establish that it must specifically be performed on the seventh day. Muslims should therefore avoid presenting a particular age as universally mandated by the Sunnah.
Parents should also ensure that any medical procedure is performed safely by a qualified professional.
3.2 Female circumcision: an important clarification
Some discussions have presented female circumcision as a Sunnah for Muslim girls and have attributed certain health or sexual benefits to the practice. However, such claims should not be stated as universally established Islamic teachings or as medically proven facts.
The authentic hadith concerning the five practices of fitrah explicitly mentions circumcision, but it does not state that every Muslim girl must undergo genital cutting.
The medical practice commonly referred to today as female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) involves injury or removal of healthy female genital tissue. The World Health Organization states that it has no health benefits and can cause serious short- and long-term complications.
World Health Organization
◆ Female genital mutilation should not be promoted as a method of improving health or sexual enjoyment.
◆ Parents must not expose children to harmful procedures.
◆ Claims about religious obligation should be distinguished from cultural customs and disputed historical opinions.
◆ Where questions concerning a particular religious ruling arise, qualified scholars and appropriate medical professionals should be consulted.
Islamic rulings concerning female circumcision have historically differed, and even contemporary discussions distinguish between religious terminology and harmful forms of FGM/C.
Islam-QA
The principle of avoiding harm is fundamental, and no practice that causes injury should be falsely attributed to the Prophet ﷺ.
4. NAMING THE CHILD — التَّسْمِيَةُ
Choosing a child's name is an important responsibility.
A Muslim should choose a name that has a sound meaning and does not contradict Islamic belief or good manners.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
إِنَّ أَحَبَّ أَسْمَائِكُمْ إِلَى اللَّهِ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ
Narrator: Ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما
“The most beloved of your names to Allah are ‘Abdullah and ‘Abd al-Rahman.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2132.
Another narration encourages Muslims to name children after the Prophets:
تَسَمَّوْا بِأَسْمَاءِ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ
Narrator: Abu Wahb رضي الله عنه
“Name yourselves with the names of the Prophets.”
Source: Al-Adab al-Mufrad 814.
The Prophet ﷺ himself named his son Ibrahim after his father Ibrahim عليه السلام
وُلِدَ لِيَ اللَّيْلَةَ غُلَامٌ فَسَمَّيْتُهُ بِاسْمِ أَبِي إِبْرَاهِيمَ
Narrator: Anas ibn Malik رضي الله عنه
“A child was born to me this night and I named him after my father Ibrahim.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2315.
5. GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL NAMES
A Muslim family may choose names belonging to several good categories.
5.1 Names of the Prophets عليهم السلام
Examples include:
◆ Muhammad ﷺ
◆ Ibrahim عليه السلام
◆ Musa عليه السلام
◆ Nuh عليه السلام
◆ Isa عليه السلام
◆ Adam عليه السلام
◆ Yusuf عليه السلام
◆ Ya'qub عليه السلام
◆ Sulaiman عليه السلام
◆ Yunus عليه السلام
◆ Zakariyya عليه السلام
◆ Yahya عليه السلام
◆ Ayyub عليه السلام
5.2 Names of righteous people
Examples include:
◆ Abdullah◆ Abdur-Rahman◆ Abu Bakr◆ Umar◆ Uthman◆ Ali
◆ Bilal◆ Hamzah◆ Khadijah◆ Aishah◆ Fatimah◆ Zaynab◆ Ruqayyah◆ Maryam
These names should be chosen because of their sound meaning and/or association with righteous people, while remembering that a person's righteousness ultimately comes from faith and deeds, not merely from a name.
6. NAMES WITH GOOD MEANINGS
A Muslim may choose names with good and wholesome meanings.
Examples include:
◆ Rahmah — mercy
◆ Kareem — generous/noble
◆ Kareemah — generous/noble
◆ Maimunah — blessed/fortunate
◆ Najeeb — noble
◆ Nafeesah — precious/valuable
◆ Muneerah — radiant/luminous
◆ Habeeb — beloved
◆ Habeebah — beloved
◆ Raheemah — merciful/compassionate
◆ Labeeb — intelligent/sensible
Parents should nevertheless verify the actual Arabic meaning and pronunciation of a proposed name before registering it.
A beautiful-sounding name is not necessarily a good name if its actual meaning is unknown or inappropriate.
7. NAMES THAT SHOULD BE AVOIDED
Islam encourages good names and prohibits or discourages names that carry meanings contrary to Islamic belief, sound character or proper manners.
7.1 Names belonging exclusively to Allah ﷻ
Names that are exclusive to Allah should not be given to human beings in their unrestricted form.
Examples include:
◆ Allah
◆ Al-Khaliq — The Creator
◆ Ar-Razzaq — The Provider
◆ Al-Ahad — The One
◆ As-Samad — The Self-Sufficient Master
◆ Al-Mutakabbir — The Majestic
◆ Al-Awwal — The First
◆ Al-Akhir — The Last
Names such as these are properly used with 'Abd, such as:
◆ Abdullah◆ Abdur-Razzaq◆ Abdul-Khaliq
◆ Abdul-Ahad
8. NAMES INVOLVING SERVITUDE TO OTHER THAN ALLAH
One of the clearest categories of prohibited names is a name expressing servitude or worship toward something other than Allah.
Examples include names such as:
◆ 'Abd al-'Uzza◆ 'Abd al-Lat◆ 'Abd al-Manat◆ 'Abd al-Ka'bah◆ 'Abd al-Husayn
◆ 'Abd al-Nabi
The Muslim's servitude belongs to Allah alone.
Allah ﷻ says:
إِنْ كُلُّ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ إِلَّا آتِي الرَّحْمَٰنِ عَبْدًا
“There is none in the heavens and earth but that he will come to the Most Merciful as a servant.”
Surah Maryam 19:93
Therefore, names expressing worship or servitude to anything besides Allah must be avoided.
9. NAMES WITH BAD OR IMPROPER MEANINGS
A name that carries an offensive, sinful, arrogant or degrading meaning should be avoided.
The Prophet ﷺ changed names when they carried objectionable meanings.
For example, Zaynab رضي الله عنها reported:
كَانَ اسْمِي بَرَّةَ فَسَمَّانِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم زَيْنَبَ
Narrator: Zaynab bint Abi Salamah رضي الله عنها
“My name was Barrah, and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ named me Zaynab.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2142a.
This demonstrates that names should not imply self-praise or an inappropriate claim about one's own righteousness.
10. DO NOT GIVE CHILDREN NAMES OF FALSE CLAIMS TO PURITY
Allah ﷻ says:
فَلَا تُزَكُّوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ ۖ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ اتَّقَىٰ
“So do not claim yourselves to be pure. He knows best who is truly mindful of Him.”
Surah al-Najm 53:32
This principle helps explain why names expressing exaggerated self-praise or guaranteed righteousness should be approached carefully.
The Prophet ﷺ changed the name Barrah, a name associated with righteousness, to Zaynab.
However, this does not mean that every name containing a positive quality is forbidden. A name must be evaluated according to its actual meaning, context and the relevant scholarly rulings.
11. NAMES OF ANGELS
There is a difference of scholarly opinion concerning the use of names such as Jibril and Mika'il.
Therefore, it is better to distinguish between:
◆ Prohibited names — where there is clear evidence of prohibition.
◆ Disliked names — where scholars have regarded a name as inappropriate.
◆ Permissible names — where no valid prohibition has been established.
A matter of scholarly disagreement should not be presented as an unquestionable consensus.
12. NAMES SUCH AS “TA-HA” AND “YA-SIN”
Some Muslims believe that Ta-Ha and Ya-Seen are names of the Prophet ﷺ.
There is no sound evidence establishing that these are names of the Prophet ﷺ.
They are letters/expressions appearing at the beginning of certain Qur'anic surahs, and Muslims should avoid confidently attributing to the Prophet ﷺ something for which there is no reliable evidence.
13. NICKNAMES AND KUNYAH — الْكُنْيَةُ
Islam permits good nicknames and kunyah when they do not contain something prohibited.
A kunyah generally begins with:
◆ Abu — father of ◆ Umm — mother of
Examples include:
◆ Abu Hurayrah◆ Abu Talhah◆ Umm Salamah◆ Umm Ayman
A kunyah does not necessarily require that a person actually have a child.
14. KUNYAH BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN
The Prophet ﷺ gave kunyah to people even when the kunyah did not necessarily correspond to an actual child.
Likewise, the Prophet ﷺ gave a child the kunyah Abu 'Umayr.
كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَحْسَنَ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا، وَكَانَ لِي أَخٌ يُقَالُ لَهُ أَبُو عُمَيْرٍ ... فَكَانَ إِذَا جَاءَ قَالَ: يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ
Anas رضي الله عنه narrated:
“The Prophet ﷺ was the best of people in character. I had a brother called Abu 'Umayr... Whenever he came, he would say: ‘O Abu 'Umayr, what happened to the little bird?’”
Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 6203.
This shows the Prophet's ﷺ affection and gentleness toward children.
15. A KUNYAH BASED ON A CHILD
Hani ibn Yazid رضي الله عنه came to the Prophet ﷺ with his people. The Prophet ﷺ asked him about his children and, after learning that his eldest child was Shurayh, said:
فَأَنْتَ أَبُو شُرَيْحٍ
“Then you are Abu Shurayh.”
Sunan Abi Dawud 4955
Thus, using a kunyah based upon one's child is permissible.
16. ABU BAKR — NAME OR KUNYAH?
Abu Bakr as-Siddiq رضي الله عنه was famously known by his kunyah Abu Bakr.
His personal name was:
عبد الله بن عثمان بن عامر القرشي
'Abdullah ibn Uthman ibn Amir al-Qurashi.
Therefore, Abu Bakr is an example of a famous kunyah rather than his personal given name.
This distinction is useful because Muslims sometimes assume that every famous title or kunyah was necessarily a person's birth name.
17. LAQAB — THE HONORIFIC NICKNAME
A Laqab is a descriptive title or nickname.
Some laqabs are praiseworthy when they are truthful and accepted.
Examples include:
◆ Abu Bakr — As-Siddiq ◆ Umar ibn al-Khattab — Al-Faruq ◆ Uthman ibn Affan — Dhun-Nurayn
Allah ﷻ also mentions honorable descriptions in the Qur'an, such as:
وَاتَّخَذَ اللَّهُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ خَلِيلًا
“And Allah took Ibrahim as an intimate friend.”
Surah an-Nisa 4:125
Thus, a good descriptive title is not automatically prohibited.
18. NICKNAMES THAT MOCK OR INSULT
Allah ﷻ clearly prohibits insulting people through offensive nicknames:
وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ
“And do not insult one another by nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith.”
Surah al-Hujurat 49:11
Therefore:
◆ A nickname intended to humiliate someone is prohibited.
◆ A nickname referring mockingly to a physical feature should be avoided.
◆ A nickname that the person dislikes should not be forced upon him or her.
◆ A pleasant nickname that is truthful, respectful and accepted may be permissible.
The Prophet ﷺ demonstrated exceptional kindness toward children and did not use humiliation as a means of teaching them.
19. BEWARE OF EXAGGERATED TITLES
Muslims should also avoid exaggeration in religious titles.
Calling someone:
◆ “The Reliever of all distress”
◆ “The Pole of the Saints”
◆ “The Imam of all Saints”
◆ “The Sun of the Saints”
or other expressions that imply extraordinary religious authority or supernatural qualities requires evidence and should not become a means of exaggeration.
A person should not be elevated beyond his actual status.
Allah ﷻ says:
فَلَا تُزَكُّوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ
“So do not claim yourselves to be pure.”
Surah an-Najm 53:32
Praise should therefore remain truthful and within the limits of Islam.
20. TITLES, PROFESSIONS AND PLACE NAMES
Names such as:
◆ Amir ◆ Sultan ◆ Imam ◆ Qadi ◆ Khalifah
may sometimes function as titles, descriptions or personal names depending on culture and usage.
Likewise, surnames may originate from:
◆ professions ◆ geographical locations ◆ tribes ◆ occupations ◆ family names
A Muslim should not declare a name haram merely because it was once used as a title or because its origin is geographical.
The important questions are:
What does the name mean?
Does it contradict Tawhid?
Does it contain an unlawful meaning?
Is there reliable evidence establishing prohibition or dislike?
This approach is safer than declaring every unfamiliar or customary name impermissible.
21. CUSTOMARY NAMES AND ISLAMIC IDENTITY
Muslim parents should be careful when selecting names.
A name should not be chosen merely because:
◆ it sounds fashionable;
◆ celebrities use it;
◆ friends are using it;
◆ it is popular in society;
◆ its meaning has never been investigated.
At the same time, Islam does not require every Muslim to have an exclusively Arabic name.
A non-Arabic name can be permissible when its meaning is good and it does not contain anything contrary to Islamic belief or manners.
The principle is therefore:
A good name with a sound meaning is preferred, while names containing shirk, servitude to other than Allah, offensive meanings or other prohibited elements must be avoided.
22. THE GREATER RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS
Naming a child is important, but raising the child is far more important.
A beautiful Islamic name cannot compensate for poor character.
A child named Muhammad must learn the character of Muhammad ﷺ.
A child named Maryam should learn modesty, worship and devotion to Allah.
A child named Umar should learn courage and justice.
A child named Fatimah should learn modesty, patience and obedience to Allah.
The goal is not merely:
“Give the child a Muslim name.”
The goal is:
“Raise the child upon Islam.”
23. CHILDREN ARE AN AMANAH
Children are an amanah — a trust — from Allah ﷻ.
Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا
“O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire...”
Surah at-Tahrim 66:6
Therefore, parents should teach their children:
◆ Tawhid◆ Salah◆ Qur'an◆ Good manners◆ Truthfulness◆ Modesty◆ Respect◆ Mercy◆ Responsibility◆ Patience◆ Gratitude◆ Good companionship◆ Love for Allah and His Messenger ﷺ
24. THE PROPHET ﷺ AND CHILDREN
The Prophet ﷺ was exceptionally gentle with children.
He carried them, greeted them, played with them, showed affection toward them and taught them without humiliating them.
His treatment of Abu 'Umayr رضي الله عنه is a beautiful example of this compassionate education. The Prophet ﷺ noticed the child's small bird and spoke to him affectionately:
يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ
“O Abu 'Umayr, what happened to the little bird?”
Sahih al-Bukhari 6203.
This teaches parents that Islamic education is not based only upon commands and correction. It also requires love, affection, patience and emotional intelligence.
25. THE MUSLIM CHILD AND EXCELLENCE
Muslim parents should aim to raise children who are:
Spiritually strong
They know Allah, love Allah and worship Allah.
Morally upright
They speak the truth and treat people with kindness.
Intellectually capable
They seek beneficial knowledge and think responsibly.
Physically responsible
They care for their bodies and understand cleanliness.
Emotionally balanced
They can express themselves without disrespect.
Socially responsible
They serve their families and communities.
Confident in Islam
They understand their religion and are not ashamed of their Muslim identity.
Useful to humanity
They become people from whom others benefit.
26. THE ULTIMATE GOAL
The ultimate objective of Muslim parenting is not simply academic success, wealth, popularity or social status.
The ultimate goal is Allah's pleasure.
A successful Muslim child is one who grows into a servant of Allah who possesses:
Imaan + Knowledge + Character + Worship + Service + Responsibility
Such a child becomes a source of ongoing reward for the parents by the permission of Allah.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
إِذَا مَاتَ ابْنُ آدَمَ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثٍ: صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ
Narrator: Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه
“When the son of Adam dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
Source: Sahih Muslim.
Thus, raising a righteous child is not only an investment in the child's future; it can also become a source of reward for the parent after death.
27. THE PARENT'S DAILY MISSION
Parents should therefore make the following their mission:
◆ Teach before demanding.
◆ Model before correcting.
◆ Love before disciplining.
◆ Explain before condemning.
◆ Encourage before criticizing.
◆ Pray for the child before complaining about the child.
◆ Build faith before expecting perfection.
◆ Teach the Sunnah with wisdom and mercy.
28. THE BEAUTIFUL DU'A OF MUSLIM PARENTS
Allah ﷻ teaches the believers to make this magnificent supplication:
وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Transliteration
Wa-alladhīna yaqūlūna rabbanā hab lanā min azwājinā wa dhurriyyātinā qurrata a'yunin waj'alnā lil-muttaqīna imāmā.
“Our Lord! Bless us with spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.”
Surah al-Furqan 25:74
This is the prayer of parents who want more than worldly success for their children.
They want children who become:
صَالِحِينَ — Righteous
مُصْلِحِينَ — Reformers
عَابِدِينَ — Worshippers
عَالِمِينَ — People of Beneficial Knowledge
نَافِعِينَ — Beneficial to Others
and ultimately:
أَهْلًا لِرِضْوَانِ اللَّهِ — People Deserving of Allah's Pleasure.
29. CONCLUSION
The birth of a child is not merely the arrival of another member into the household. It is the beginning of an Amanah, a Responsibility and an opportunity for enormous reward.
The Muslim parent should therefore approach childhood with knowledge, wisdom and mercy.
Perform the established Sunnahs.
Choose a good name.
Protect the child's Tawheed.
Teach the Qur'an.
Teach Salah.
Develop good character.
Show affection.
Correct with wisdom.
Protect the child from harmful customs.
Do not attribute weak or fabricated claims to the Prophet ﷺ.
And constantly ask Allah ﷻ to make the child righteous.
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
“Our Lord! Bless us with spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.”
آمِينَ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ
May Allah ﷻ bless our children, protect their faith, purify their hearts, grant them beneficial knowledge, beautiful character and righteous companionship, and make them a source of comfort and ongoing reward for their parents.
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