STRIVING TO GUIDE ONE'S SPOUSE

 

Striving to guide one’s spouse

 

If one’s wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is from the Bounty of Allah. If she is not that righteous, then it is the duty of the head of the household to strive to guide her. Any of the following scenarios may apply:

 

A man may marry a woman who is not religious in the first place, because he himself is not religious at first, or he may have married her in the hope of guiding her, or under pressure from his relatives, for example. In these cases he must strive hard to guide her.

 

A man must also realize from the outset that guidance comes from Allah, and that Allah is the One Who reforms people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariyah was, as He said:

 

 فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهُۥ وَوَهَبۡنَا لَهُۥ یَحۡیَىٰ وَأَصۡلَحۡنَا لَهُۥ زَوۡجَهُۥۤۚ إِنَّهُمۡ كَانُوا۟ یُسَـٰرِعُونَ فِی ٱلۡخَیۡرَ ٰ⁠تِ وَیَدۡعُونَنَا رَغَبࣰا وَرَهَبࣰاۖ وَكَانُوا۟ لَنَا خَـٰشِعِینَ

 

[Surah Al-Anbiyāʾ: 90]

..and [We] cured his wife for him...

 

[Al-Anbiya’ (21) : 90]

 

This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious, Ibn ‘Abbas said: “She was barren and could not have children, then she had a child.” ‘Ata’ said: “She was harsh of tongue, and Allah reformed her.” There are various means of guiding or reforming one’s wife,

such as:

 

1. Paying attention co correcting her worship of Allah in all its aspects, as will be discussed in detail below.

 

2. Striving to strengthen her eemaan, such as:

 

3. encouraging her to pray at night (qiyamul layl/ Tahajjud)

 

4. encouraging her to read Qur’an

 

5. encouraging her to memorize adhkar and remember the appropriate times and occasions for saying them

 

6. encouraging her to give charity

 

7. encouraging her to read useful Islamic books

 

8. encouraging her to listen to useful Islamic audio/video that can increase knowledge and strengthen Imaan - and continuing to supply her with them.

 

9. choosing good, religious friends for her, with whom she can form ties of sisterhood and have good conversations and purposeful visits.

 

10. protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for it to reach her, by keeping her away from bad companions and bad places. May Allah SWT make spouses improve one another in their Deen and be their source of Jannatul firddaus.

 

Aameen