10 WAYS TO DEFEAT ANGER
1 - Seek refuge with Allah from the Devil:
عن سليمان بن صُرَدٍ -رضي الله عنه- قال: كنت جالسًا مع النبي -صلى الله عليه وسلم- ورجلان يَسْتَبَّانِ، وأحدهما قد احْمَرَّ وجْهُه، وانْتَفَخَتْ أَوْدَاجُهُ، فقال رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم-: «إِنِّي لأعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهبَ عنه ما يجد، لو قال: أعُوذ بالله من الشَّيطان الرجيم، ذهبَ منه ما يَجد». فقالوا له: إن النبي - صلى الله عليه وسلم - قال: «تَعَوَّذْ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم»
متفق عليه
Sulayman bin Sard narrated:
"I was sitting with the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), when two men began slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said: "I seek refuge with Allah from the Devil," what he feels would go away.'"
['Fath al-Bari'; 6/337]
وقال صلى الله عليه وسلم : إذا غضب الرجل فقال أعوذ بالله ، سكن غضبه صحيح الجامع
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"If a man gets angry and says: "I seek refuge with Allah," his anger will go away."
['Sahih al-Jami'; # 695]
2 - Remain silent:
ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: عَلِّمُوا وَيَسِّرُوا وَلاَ تُعَسِّرُوا، وَإِذَا غَضِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ فَلْيَسْكُتْ.
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent."
['Sahih al-Jami'; # 693]
3 - Sit down or lie down:
عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ، قَالَ إِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ لَنَا " إِذَا غَضِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ وَهُوَ قَائِمٌ فَلْيَجْلِسْ فَإِنْ ذَهَبَ عَنْهُ الْغَضَبُ وَإِلاَّ فَلْيَضْطَجِعْ "
"Abu Dharr was taking his camels to drink at a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said to one another: "Who can compete with Abu Dharr in bringing animals to drink and make his hair stand on end?" A man said: "I can." So, he brought his animals and competed with Abu Dharr and ended up breaking the trough. Abu Dharr was standing when he saw this, so, he sat down, then he laid down. Someone asked him: "O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?" He said: "The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so that his anger will go away. If it does not go away, let him lie down."""
[Reported in the 'Musnad' of Ahmad (5/152) and 'Sahih al-Jami' (694)]
Al-Imam al-Khattabi said:
"One who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret, and Allah knows best."
['Ma'alim as-Sunan'; 5/141]
4 - Smile:
عن أنس -رضي الله عنه- قَالَ: كُنْتُ أمشي مَعَ رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- وَعَلَيْهِ بُرْد نَجْرَانيٌّ غَلِيظُ الحَاشِيَةِ، فأدْرَكَهُ أعْرَابِي فَجَبذَهُ بِرِدَائِهِ جَبْذَة شَديدة، فَنَظَرْتُ إِلَى صَفْحَةِ عَاتِقِ النَّبيِّ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- وَقَدْ أثَّرَتْ بِهَا حَاشِيَة الرِّدَاءِ مِنْ شِدَّةِ جَبْذَتِه، ثُمَّ قَالَ: يَا مُحَمَّدُ، مُر لِي مِنْ مَالِ اللهِ الَّذِي عِنْدَكَ. فَالتَفَتَ إِلَيْهِ، فَضَحِكَ ثُمَّ أَمَرَ لَهُ بِعَطَاءٍ
[صحيح] - [متفق عليه]
Anas bin Malik narrated:
"I was walking with the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and he (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) was wearing a Najrani cloak with a rough collar. A bedouin came and seized him (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the bedouin ordered him (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to give him some of the wealth of Allah that he (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) had. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something."
['Fath al-Bari'; 10/375]
5 - Remember the advice of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam):
وَعَنْ أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أَنَّ رَجُلاً قَالَ: { يَا رَسُولَ اَللَّهِ! أَوْصِنِي. فَقَالَ: لَا تَغْضَبْ, فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا. قَالَ: لَا تَغْضَبْ }
أَخْرَجَهُ اَلْبُخَارِيُّ
Abu Hurayrah narrated:
"A man said to the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam): "Advise me." He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said to him: "Do not become angry.""
['Fath al-Bari'; 10/456]
وخرج الإمام أحمد من حديث الزهري عن حميد بن عبد الرحمن ، عن رجل من أصحاب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : قلت : يا رسول الله أوصني ، قال : لا تغضب قال الرجل : ففكرت حين قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ما قال فإذا الغضب يجمع الشر كله ورواه مالك في " الموطأ "
According to another narration, the man later said: "I thought about what the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, and I realized that anger combines all kinds of evil."
[Reported in the 'Musnad' of Ahmad; 5/373]
6 - Remember the high status of those who control themselves:
وعن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: "ليس الشديد بالصرعة، إنما الشديد الذى يملك نفسه عند الغضب" ((متفق عليه)) .
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"The strong man is not the one who can overpower others. Rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry."
[Agreed upon ]
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) also said:
"The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger."
['Sahih al-Jami'; # 3859]
Anas bin Malik narrated :
"The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) passed by some people who were wrestling. He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) asked: "What is this?" They said: "So-and-so is the strongest; he can beat anybody." The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) then said: "Shall I not tell you who is even stronger then him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own devil and the devil of the one who made him angry.""
['Fath Al-Bari'; 10/519]
7 - Rewards for those who control their anger:
عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دُلَّنِي عَلَى عَمَلٍ يُدْخِلُنِي الْجَنَّةَ قَالَ صلى الله عليه وسلم لا تَغْضَبْ وَلَكَ الْجَنَّةُ
المعجم الأوسط للطبراني
صحيح في صحيح الجامع
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
"Do not become angry, and Paradise is yours."
['Sahih al-Jami'; # 7374]
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ مُعَاذِ بْنِ أَنَسٍ الجُهَنِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: مَنْ كَظَمَ غَيْظًا وَهُوَ يَسْتَطِيعُ أَنْ يُنَفِّذَهُ دَعَاهُ اللَّهُ يَوْمَ القِيَامَةِ عَلَى رُءُوسِ الخَلَائِقِ حَتَّى يُخَيِّرَهُ فِي أَيِّ الحُورِ شَاءَ
رواه الإمام أحمد في "المسند" (24 / 398) وأبو داود (4777) والترمذي (2021) وقال: "هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ"، وحسنه الشيخ الألباني في "صحيح الترغيب والترهيب" (3 / 48)، وحسنه محققو المسند
"Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al-'Ayn whoever he wants."
[Reported by Abu Dawud (4777), and it is in 'Sahih al-Jami' (6518)]
8 - Remember that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness:
ٱلَّذِینَ یُنفِقُونَ فِی ٱلسَّرَّاۤءِ وَٱلضَّرَّاۤءِ وَٱلۡكَـٰظِمِینَ ٱلۡغَیۡظَ وَٱلۡعَافِینَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِۗ وَٱللَّهُ یُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِینَ
[Surah Âl-`Imrân: 134]
{"And march forth in the way to forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the righteous; those who spend in prosperity and in adversity, repress anger, and pardon men. Verily, Allah loves the good-doers."}
[Al 'Imran; 134]
9 - Submit to reminders:
Ibn 'Abbas narrated:
"A man sought permission to speak to 'Umar bin al-Khattab, then he said: "O Ibn al-Khattab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." 'Umar was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but Al-Hurr bin Qays - who was one of those present - said: "O Commander of the Believers! Allah said to His Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam):
{ خُذِ ٱلۡعَفۡوَ وَأۡمُرۡ بِٱلۡعُرۡفِ وَأَعۡرِضۡ عَنِ ٱلۡجَـٰهِلِینَ }
[Surah Al-A`râf: 199]
{"Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish."} [Al-A'raf; 199]
, and this man is one of the foolish." By Allah, 'Umar could go no further after Al-Hurr had recited this verse to him, as he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of Allah."
['Fath al-Bari'; 4/304]
...as opposed to how one of the hypocrites reacted when one of the Companions said to him: "Seek refuge with Allah from the Devil," So, he replied: "Do you think I am crazy? Go away!"
['Fath al-Bari'; 1/465]
10 - Remember the bad effects of anger:
عَنْ سِمَاكِ بْنِ، حَرْبٍ أَنَّ عَلْقَمَةَ بْنَ وَائِلٍ، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَاهُ حَدَّثَهُ قَالَ إِنِّي لَقَاعِدٌ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذْ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ يَقُودُ آخَرَ بِنِسْعَةٍ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَذَا قَتَلَ أَخِي . فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " أَقَتَلْتَهُ " . فَقَالَ إِنَّهُ لَوْ لَمْ يَعْتَرِفْ أَقَمْتُ عَلَيْهِ الْبَيِّنَةَ . قَالَ نَعَمْ . قَتَلْتُهُ قَالَ " كَيْفَ قَتَلْتَهُ قَالَ كُنْتُ أَنَا وَهُوَ نَخْتَبِطُ مِنْ شَجَرَةٍ فَسَبَّنِي فَأَغْضَبَنِي فَضَرَبْتُهُ بِالْفَأْسِ عَلَى قَرْنِهِ فَقَتَلْتُهُ .
رواه الأمام مسلم و هو جزء من حديث
'Alqamah bin Wa'il narrated:
"My father said to me: "I was sitting with the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), when a man came to him leading another man by a rope. He said: "O Messenger of Allah, this man killed my brother." The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) asked him, "Did you kill him?" He said: "Yes, I killed him." He (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) asked: "How did you kill him?" He said: "He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall for animal feed, and then he insulted me, so I struck him on the side of the head with an axe and killed him.""
['Sahih Muslim'; # 1307]
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