FAMILY UNITY... 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

 

 

10 important points on maintaining family ties

 

1) Always make Salaam. Be the first to greet. The one who offers salaam first to their fellow Muslim brother and sister is raised in status by Allah (SWT). This also removes pride. It is pride and thinking we are better than others that prevents us from greeting our family members first.

 

2) Respect each other. Again this ties in with the above. Part of respecting someone is greeting them. You don't need to like someone to make salaam and respect them. Respect works both ways... don't expect respect from others if you dont give it. Remember what you give in life always comes back to you.

 

3) Tolerance and Acceptance. Every person is different and a product of their upbringing, individual and collective experiences. You need to respect this and tolerate that not everyone is like you, thinks like you or does like you. Allah made us all different. No two persons have the same fingerprint. Each person is unique. Even biological brothers and sisters who are brought up in the same home are not the same. So how can you expect others especially in-laws to be like you and ascribe to your ways and beliefs. Respect and tolerate others differences and you will go a long way in maintaining good relationships with others.

 

4) Never be jealous over one another. Everything comes from Allah (SWT). If Allah has written it for others and not us, no matter what we do, how much jealousy we have it will not take it away from that person. Always make shukr for what you have and be happy for others and their blessings. It is not by their own efforts that they are blessed with what you don't have... it is by the will of Allah (SWT). He says BE and it will BE.

 

5) Love for others what you would love for yourself. For example if you would like others to overlook your shortcomings/faults then you must overlook the shortcomings and faults of others.

 

6) Don't judge! You do not know what's in every persons heart/ their intentions. Every person is accountable for their own actions. Worry about yourself and make efforts to safeguard yourself from Jahannam instead of condemning others to hell.

 

7) Do not gossip and slander. A lot of times we spread stories of others based on our assumptions. We tell this to other family members who then believe it to be true then we cause estranged relationships between that person and other family members. We are causing great fitnah. May Allah (SWT) save us from this evil. Even the person listening to the gossip and slander needs to know better. Always ask yourself if it's true, if it's kind, if it's necessary. Some people thrive on stories... they listen from one person and are quick to spread it to other family members. There are alot of inter-family marriages and marriages in close friendship circles hence these stories spread from one household to another. This causes so much disunity. By the end of it all, even the person who started the gossip doesn't even know what was the truth in the first place.

 

8) Learn to ask for Forgiveness if you have wronged anyone. Don't wait for one of the big nights to do this. None of us know when our time in this dunya is up. We may not live to see the next big night to right our wrongs. We should live as if every day is our last and always leave family members on good terms.

 

9) Give gifts for it increases the muhabbat between hearts. By giving someone a gift you acknowledge them, show them that you respect them and accept them and in turn it will cause the other to reciprocate these feelings.

 

10) And last but most importantly... Always ensure clear communication to avoid any misunderstandings. If you don't communicate clearly and in the right way you can cause alot of unnecessary problems. Never assume and allow room for misinterpretation. The receiving party should always seek clarity. An important note here is also to communicate directly with the person instead of discussing what was said with other family members and allowing room for wrong communication and misunderstandings...